Orpheus
by Icewyche
Summary: Inspired by Minuit's "Angel Dust". After Gaiden, Touma looks for a miracle to save Seiji's life...and takes a desperate risk to get it.


Orpheus 

By Icewyche 

**_The standard disclaimers apply._**

**Author's note:** This story was inspired by Minuit's "Angel Dust" (and if you haven't read that, go do it now.  I'll wait.).  I prefer to work with the Ronin Warriors names and scenarios rather than the YST ones, but after reading "Angel Dust" I had to wonder: how _did_ the Samurai Troopers bring Seiji back from near-death?  It was too good a challenge to pass up.  At the end of "Angel Dust", Touma looks for a miracle to save his friend's life.  Here's my take on how he got it.

.  

_      Up._

_      Down._

     It was a routine for me now, as familiar as getting up in the morning.  Sitting by Seiji's bedside, watching his chest rise and fall with his breathing.  He hadn't been in the hospital that long, but I was already starting to forget what it was like to have a life outside of white tile and antiseptic and state-of-the-art machinery and despair.  I was starting to forget what it felt like to walk in the fresh air, to feel the sun on my face, to hear laughter instead of the cautious murmurs of doctors speaking in a language I didn't understand.  And far, far worse, I was starting to forget _Seiji_.  I could barely remember the sound of his voice, the grace with which he moved, the way his eyes turned a soft violet when he smiled or stormy gray when he was angry.  

      The memories I could call up now were far different.  I saw him right after we freed him from Shikaisen's torture: pale but oddly flushed around the cheekbones, trembling but trying hard not to, with a strange look in his eyes that told me there had been more than magic at work in Shikaisen's cruel manipulation of the Korin armor.  I knew something was wrong, but Seiji just called the armor to him, hefted his sword, and selflessly helped us bring down the demon.  I saw him after we banished the armors: not just trembling but shaking, his eyes wild and glittering, muttering that the Korin armor was contaminated, he couldn't feel his hands, the demons were still there, didn't we see them?  _I can't stay here, I can't stay here, it'll get me again!_ he had cried, trying desperately to get away from some evil only he could see.  Shu caught him, restraining Seiji as gently as he could, and that was when Seiji had collapsed, in a full-blown seizure.  I didn't remember how we got him to the hospital, only that we did, thank the gods.  And I remembered him the way he was now --- lying still and quiet in his hospital bed, breathing but lifeless, an effigy of the friend I knew and loved.             

      At first Shin and Nasutei had tried to hide the truth from us --- they told us that Seiji would be fine, that the doctors would take care of him, that everything would be all right.  But then I heard them saying something in English when they thought none of us could hear; Seiji needed something, something neither the hospital nor the Samurai Troopers could provide.

      _A miracle._

      So here we were, back at square one.  It wasn't _fair_, damn it!  We were just teenagers; we should have been worrying about school and grades and whether or not we could get a date for Saturday night, not whether or not our friend was going to live.  And Seiji --- Seiji should have been fussing over that ridiculous hair of his or meditating or charming girls into speechlessness with just a smile, not lying in a hospital bed thousands of miles from home, more dead than alive, in a coma nothing could seem to pull him out of.  

      I pounded my fist on the bedside table, then buried my face in my arms, momentarily overwhelmed with grief and helplessness and a rage that made me want to destroy something.  For a moment I even wished that Shikaisen and his scientist cohort were back just so that I could have the pleasure of annihilating them.  _Why?_ I wondered in despair.  This hospital was said to be one of the best --- why the hell couldn't they heal Seiji?

      _Damn it all, why can't he heal himself?!_

      My head shot up.  Seiji was the healer…why _couldn't_ he heal himself?  Why hadn't the Korin armor healed him?  Many were the times our armors had healed our battle wounds; we probably wouldn't have made it through the first battles with Arago if they hadn't.  So why had the Korin armor failed Seiji now?

      Or _had_ it?  My mind whirled back to just before Seiji's collapse, to some of the last words I had heard him say.  _It's contaminated, it's evil, get it away from me!_ I remembered him muttering frantically through gritted teeth, making jerky little motions with his hands as if he were brushing away bugs.  _Don't let it get me again!_  

      Dear gods, was that it?  Had Korin tried to help him, but had Seiji in his drug-maddened state rejected it?  Seiji had never truly enjoyed wearing the armor, especially not after we had learned that our armors had originally been created from the evil armor of the Demon Lord Arago.  He had always feared that the armors retained enough of Arago's darkness to overrule our own goodness and sense of purpose.  And then Shikaisen had kidnapped him, drugged him, and used the armor of Korin to wreak havoc and destruction in two cities, with hundreds of innocents brutally massacred…and I didn't doubt for a second that Seiji, spiritually bound to his armor as we all were to our own, had felt every second of that horror.

      I groaned and hid my face in my arms again.  How in the name of the nine hells had we managed to overlook this?  It wasn't that the armor _couldn't _heal Seiji --- he wouldn't _let_ it heal him.  The warrior of light could not risk losing a battle with the darkness that had briefly stolen his armor, could not face the atrocities that darkness had unleashed.  But it hadn't been his fault --- he had fought Shikaisen all the way, which was why the demon had had to drug and torture him so badly.  It was Seiji's goodness, the light and purity of his soul, that had helped us defeat Shikaisen.  Why couldn't he see that?  What was he so afraid of that he had decided to withdraw from all of us, to hide in a darkness of his own making?  Of course, the only one who could answer that wasn't talking.  But maybe there was another way….

      I rose quickly to my feet.  I had to talk to Shin.  

      "Do you think it's really possible?" Shin asked.

      "I'm _positive_ it is," I said firmly.  "You know how Seiji is; always so stern, so much in control.  But that control was stolen from him, and in an especially violent way.  Think about it, Shin.  If someone had torn your armor from you, and used it to attack your friends and kill hundreds of innocent people, would you have been able to just shrug it off and go on with your life?  I wouldn't."

      "Neither would I," Shin agreed quietly.  "But how do we get through to Seiji?  He's in a coma.  How do we make him understand that he's not to blame for what Shikaisen did?"

      "I have an idea.  We're all bound together by some sort of spiritual or psychic link.  What if I could use that link to somehow communicate with him mentally?  Soul-to-soul, so to speak."

      "Just you?  Touma, you don't have that kind of strength," Shin reminded me gently.

      "I know.  I would need the rest of you to back me up and strengthen the connection.  I'll need the power of the armors," I said, sounding more confident than I actually was.

      Shin looked thoughtful.  "In order to do that, we'll have to tell Ryo and Shu the truth about Seiji's condition, and I know it'll upset them.  Touma, that kind of anger could ruin any chance you have of reaching Seiji, especially as fragile as he is now.  If, as you say, he's withdrawn from us out of fear, any negative emotions could drive him away for good."

      I hadn't really thought about that, but I wasn't about to give up.  "It's a risk I'm willing to take," I said.  "We'll just have to make sure they understand how important this is.  They'll have to get angry later.  Shin, this may be our only chance at saving Seiji.  All the science modern medicine has to offer hasn't done a damn thing.  We don't have anything left to lose."

      "Except Seiji," Shin said quietly.

      "And if we can't bring him back, we'll lose him anyway," I retorted.  "Which is better --- watching him die by slow degrees or actively making an effort to save him?"  I ran a hand distractedly through my hair.  "I don't want to lose him, Shin, any more than I'd want to lose you or Ryo or Shu.  But I can't just sit and hope anymore --- I have to _do_ something.  Even if…even if that something fails," I finished in a small voice.

      Shin gazed sympathetically at me for a long moment.  Then he nodded.  "Let's go find the others, then."

      As Shin had predicted, the confrontation with Ryo and Shu was difficult.  Ryo didn't say a word, but stared accusingly at Shin and Nasutei.  Shu made up for it, though; he raged and ranted enough for _three_ people.  How could they do this, he demanded, why had they lied to him, to Ryo?  Why hadn't anyone told him just how sick Seiji truly was?  Were they going to wait until Seiji _died_ before they told him the truth?  He paced the small waiting room like a caged tiger, alternating between demanding explanations and threatening Shin's life.  Finally Shin had had enough.

      "That's enough, Shu," he snapped, cutting off Shu's latest rant.  "Look, I know you're angry, and I don't blame you.  Touma was the same way when he found out.  But we don't have time for this now.  Seiji is _dying_, and unless you can come up with something better this idea of Touma's may be our only chance to save him.  And unless you can get yourself under control and stay calm, we won't even have _that_.  Which is more important to you, saving Seiji's life or nursing your own hurt feelings?"  Shu glared sullenly at him, but subsided, and Shin continued, "If Touma is right, and I think he is, Seiji is very fragile right now.  If he senses your anger, it may be enough to push him over the edge.  We need your strength, Shu, yours _and_ Ryo's.  And more importantly, _Seiji_ needs your strength."

      "Do you really think that Seiji is doing this to himself, that he really wants to die?" Ryo finally spoke up quietly.

      "It's certainly possible," Shin replied.  "The mind is a very powerful thing, Ryo, and especially in Seiji's case.  Remember what we said when we found the Korin armor running amok in New York, before we found out about Shikaisen --- that _all_ of us were shamed by the armor's behavior.  But no one would feel that shame more keenly than Seiji.  The armor he wore to protect innocent people was used to kill them, and he was helpless to stop it...and we all know Seiji has control issues," he added with an affectionate little smile, hoping to somehow lighten the mood a bit.  I couldn't help but smile a little myself --- after all, Seiji was not exactly the poster child for reckless abandon.  Shin's smile melted.  "No doubt he feels that either the armor has betrayed him or he simply wasn't strong enough to stop it, and either way he must feel immensely ashamed...ashamed enough to forfeit his own life as penance," he finished softly.

      "We can't let him do that," Ryo said, in a firmer voice than I'd heard from him in a while.  "Luna gave her own life to save ours, and I won't let Seiji ignore that sacrifice.  We'll bring him back even if we have to drag him kicking and screaming out of whatever hell he's hiding in.  I've already lost one friend --- I won't lose another."  Determination shone from those fierce blue eyes, and I almost felt sorry for Seiji…_almost_.  "Shu?  Are you with us?" Ryo demanded.

      Shu looked at all of us, first Shin, then Ryo, then me, and finally back to Shin.  I knew he was still angry at Shin for lying to him about Seiji's condition, but I think he realized that we had more important matters to deal with.  Then he took a deep breath and squared his shoulders.

      "Let's do it," he said firmly.  "Let's go get our friend back."

      Nasutei arranged it for us.  The medical staff was not happy about the idea of all four of us being in Seiji's room at the same time --- they had wanted to keep him isolated, away from anything that could possibly send him into seizures again --- but Nasutei had explained that it was a sort of Japanese prayer ceremony and that it would comfort all of us.  I think she also said something about "saying goodbye", but I hoped I had gotten that part wrong.  Whatever she told them, though, it worked, and we were allowed to visit Seiji together.

      I paused at the closed door of Seiji's room, uncertainty suddenly fluttering in the pit of my stomach.  What if I was wrong?  What if I had just been kidding myself, and Seiji was beyond help?  Was I setting all of us up for a shattering disappointment?  

      Shin must have sensed my hesitation, because he placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder.  "Have faith, Touma," he told me gently but firmly.  Easy for him to say --- he _was_ Faith, after all.  "We all believe in you, and we'll back you all the way.  Trust your Wisdom --- trust _yourself_."

      He was right, and I felt my courage returning.  I had to believe in myself, for Seiji.  My best friend needed me.  I couldn't back down now.  I pushed open the door, and we went in.

      Seiji lay there just as I had left him, his eyes closed, his face pale beneath the oxygen mask, and that absurd mop of golden hair as perfect as always.  I had learned that the nurses had been taking special care with Seiji's hair, keeping it washed and combed as if they knew how much it meant to him.  It was nice to know that someone else cared about him, too. 

      I pulled the chair as close as I could to Seiji's bedside and sat down.  "Seiji?" I asked gently.  "Seiji, can you hear me?"  No reply, but then I hadn't expected one.  Shin stood on Seiji's other side with Shu beside him, and Ryo stood behind me, a hand on my shoulder.  "We're all here, Seiji; Ryo, Shin, Shu, and me.  We're all with you."

      Seiji's green kanji crystal was sitting on his bedside table, where it had been since he was admitted to the hospital --- the nurses thought it was just a sentimental knick-knack, like a stuffed animal.  I picked it up now and placed it in his hand, closing the limp fingers gently around the crystal and holding them there with my own.  My crystal was in my other hand, and I saw that the others had theirs ready as well.  Shin took Seiji's other hand in his free one and Shu placed a hand on Shin's shoulder, connecting them.  "Do you feel that, Seiji?" I asked.  "We won't let you go; we need you to come back to us.  Somehow I _know_ you can hear me.  Come back to us, Seiji."

      As if by some unspoken signal, our kanji crystals all began to glow.  I couldn't see what Seiji's was doing, but I thought I felt a very weak vibration beneath my fingers, and I focused on it fiercely.  I closed my eyes and shut out everything except for the mental pull of the crystals.  I felt the powers of the other three link with mine, and I gathered that power and focused it on the green crystal and its owner.  _Seiji, hear me_, I willed silently, reaching out with all my strength._ Where are you?  Help me find you, Seiji._  I stretched out with my mind, as far as I could, calling for my friend…and suddenly there was a tremendous wrench.

      The world fell out from under me as I spiraled into darkness.

      I was surrounded by blackness, as if I was in a tunnel far beneath the earth's surface.  There was no light, nothing to guide me.  I stood where I was for a moment, wondering what to do next.  Where in the world was I, and how did I find my way around?  _Seiji, is this your doing?_ I wondered.  _Are you here somewhere?_  Then I felt it --- a presence in the dark, somewhere ahead of me.  _Seiji?_    

      Well, I wouldn't accomplish anything cowering in the dark here.  I headed toward the presence.  As I did I quickly realized that something was different --- I wasn't walking, I was _floating_.  I looked down at myself, only to find that there was no 'myself' there.  My body had been transformed into an amorphous mass of deep blue light.  I could feel my arms, my legs, but I couldn't _see_ them.  Suddenly I knew what had happened, and where I was.  My body could not make the journey to find Seiji, but my _soul_ could, and it had brought me here to this place between the worlds.  I started forward again, newly determined.  Seiji was here, somewhere…and I would find him.

      I had no idea how long I traveled through the silent, murky caverns.  I felt that strange presence still ahead of me, but it was oddly weak and I wondered just how far away it was.  Deeper and deeper I went, searching, calling, reaching.

      Suddenly something flickered in the blackness --- a faint shimmer of green light.  _Seiji?_ I called.  There was no answer, so I focused and tried again. **_Seiji?**_

_      **Touma…**_  It was the barest of whispers.  **_Why…why are you here?**_

_      **I've come for you,**  _I told him.  _**Seiji, I know why you're here.  You blame yourself for what happened with the Korin armor, and you've decided that dying is the only way to make up for it.  But I won't let you do that.  I'm not going to let you die for something that wasn't your fault.**_

The green glow rippled slightly, as if sighing.  _**But it was.**_

      _**How can you say that?** _I asked.  I drew closer to him, slowly so as not to startle him.  His light was so frail, like a candle struggling to stay alight in a windstorm.  I wanted to run to his side, to shield that fragile flame and bolster his light with my own, but I forced myself to wait.  If I moved too quickly, he might bolt and I would lose him forever to the darkness.  _**Seiji, tell me…help me understand.**_

_      **Touma, please…let me go,**_  Seiji pleaded wearily.  _**I just can't…I'm so tired.**_  The suffering in his mental voice almost made me relent, but I had to stand firm.

       _**No,**_ I said calmly.  _**I came all this way to find you, and I dragged the others with me. Can you feel them?**  _I drew back slightly, enough to let him sense the other souls strengthening me. _ ** The least you could do is give us a decent explanation.**_

He was silent for a moment, then sighed.  _**Touma, I killed all those innocent people.  I attacked my friends.  I caused so much pain and destruction, and with an armor meant to heal and protect.  This was my fault.**_  

      _**And you did all this while you were being drugged and tortured in Shikaisen's hideout?** _I retorted.  Was it my imagination, or was the darkness behind him growing even blacker?

      _**The armor….**_

_      **No, Seiji.  Not the armor, and certainly not you.  _Shikaisen_ did this.  No one else,** _I told him fiercely.  Dear gods, it _was_ getting darker….

      _**But I couldn't stop him,** _Seiji said unhappily.  _**I let him take my armor and cause all that horror.  I failed.  I shamed the Samurai Troopers.  Do you know what that's like, Touma?  I felt those people die, I heard their screams for mercy, and I couldn't do anything to stop Korin.  I was weak,**_ he finished, and the self-loathing in his voice shook me to the core.

      _**And you think willing yourself to die is going to make you stronger?**_  I demanded.  _**Gods, Seiji, how can you be so blind?  How can you be so _selfish_?**_

The green light seemed to flare for a moment.  _**What?!**_

_      **How will your dying make everything better?  Will it bring those people back?  Will it undo what Shikaisen did?  Will it make anyone feel better besides you?  No.  It won't, and you need to stop wallowing in self-pity and see that.**  _I knew I was being harsh with him when I had planned to be gentle, and I was surprised at myself.  But I couldn't help how I felt.

      _**You don't understand.  The armor --- _my_ armor --- was used for evil, and I did nothing to stop it.  I let it happen.  How can I live with that shame, Touma?**_

_      **It isn't your shame to live with,** _I said gently.  _**Seiji, listen to me.  A sword can be used to defend or to kill.  You know that.  And if that sword is used to harm someone, should shame fall on the sword or its wielder?**  _He seemed to be listening, and I went on.  _**You were only the sword, Seiji, the instrument.  Do you remember when Arago absorbed us all and used our armor's powers to attack Ryo?  Did that make us evil?  Did it make us weak or unfit to live?  Was it our shame or Arago's?  I think you know the answer to that.**_

_       Seiji was silent for a long moment__, while behind him the Stygian blackness continued to deepen.  Why was it doing that?  Finally Seiji said quietly, __**Touma, I know what you're trying to do, and I thank you for it.  But it's too late.  Let me go, my friend.  Go back and live --- for both of us.**_

_      **No, Seiji.  I won't go back without you.**_

_      **Touma, I've been here too long.  I can't make it back on my own…I don't have the strength.**_

_      **That's why I'm here,** I coaxed him.  __**I'll help you, Seiji.  I can lead you back.**_

      The green light flickered, almost as if it were shaking its head.  The ebony pit behind Seiji was so dark it was practically opaque, and suddenly I realized just where we were --- we were at the edge of death itself, and Seiji was just a step or two away from the abyss.  _**Touma, no.  You've done all you can.  But I'm just too tired now.  I don't have the strength to fight anymore.  Please…let me go.**_

_      **No,** I snapped at him, my anger returning in full force.  __**You want to quit, Seiji, and I won't let you do that.  There's nothing heroic about dying this way.  You're taking the coward's way out.**_

_      I almost thought I saw a faint, wry smile somewhere in the depths of Seiji's soullight.  __**You're not going to make this easy, are you?**_

_     **Damn straight I'm not,**  I replied.  __**Seiji, I know that the truly noble thing to do now would be to tell you that it's all right, that I understand; to give you my blessing and let you go.  But I'm tired of being noble.  I've sacrificed my youth, my dreams, any chance I might have had at a normal life in order to protect our world.  I'm not __going to sacrifice my friends, and you have no right to ask that of me.  Ryo couldn't do it when Arago trapped us, not even to destroy the demon.  How can you expect me to do what our leader couldn't?**  If I could have paced, I would have.  __**You talk about the pain you felt when Shikaisen stole your armor, but you don't seem to notice the pain you're causing us now.__  Do you have any idea how hard this has been on all of us?  Do you know how much worse it will be if you die?  Ryo is already torn up over Luna's death --- do you think yours will make him feel any better?  Will you find absolution knowing that you've abandoned your friends, your family, the people who love you?**  Tears pricked at the corners of my spirit eyes, and suddenly I didn't care if he saw them.  In fact, I __wanted him to see my pain, my rage, and my frustration.  He wanted to feel guilty, fine --- I'd give him something to feel guilty about.  __** If you want to die so badly, Seiji, I know I can't stop you --- but I can make damn sure you don't rest in peace.**_

_      Again he was silent, and I could tell he was thinking about what I had said.  From where I stood I could feel a faint pull from the black abyss; it beckoned me to let go, to rest, to give up, and I had to fight against its seductive call.  How much harder was it for Seiji, already weakened and vulnerable?  __Seiji, please, fight it, I begged him silently.  Then he said, so softly I almost didn't hear him, __**I don't want to hurt you, any of you.  But I'm not sure I can face all that pain again.**_

_      **I know,** I told him.  __**Life is painful, Seiji.  It hurts and it's full of annoyances and letdowns and struggles.  But it's also full of joy and laughter and friendships and moments that make it all worthwhile.  That's what we fight for, Seiji --- that's what we live __for.**  The abyss tugged at me again, but this time I also felt a pull from the other direction, and I knew I would have to go back soon.  __**Seiji, I can't stay much longer…it's too much of a drain on the other guys.  Please, come back with me now.**_

_      He hesitated again.  __**Touma…I'm scared.**_

_      His confession left me both startled and deeply touched.  For Seiji Date, proud and noble descendant of samurai warriors, trained since babyhood to stand strong and unflinching in the face of danger --- for __Seiji to admit to that kind of fear….__**So am I, sometimes,** I replied honestly.  __**We __wouldn't be human if we weren't.  Seiji, I won't lie to you.  Whatever lies ahead of us, there are going to be tough spots and bad days and times when you'll wish you had given up when you had the chance.  It's a scary world, Seiji…but it'll be a lot scarier without you in it.**  I extended an ephemeral hand to him.  I wished I could just grab his spirit hand and drag him back with me, but I couldn't do that to him.  It would have to be his choice.  All I could do was wait to see what that choice would be._

      It seemed as if we stood there forever.  Seiji looked at me, looked up the way I came, then looked back at the patiently waiting blackness.  I knew it was a hard decision to have to make, torn between the struggle and uncertainty of life or the eternal peace of death.  Then he turned to me…and slowly held out his hand.

      _**Take me back, Touma…take me home.**_

      I took his spirit hand in mine and felt my life force merge with his, strengthening him as we began our journey back.  Like Orpheus in the ancient Greek myth, leading Eurydice from the Underworld, I led my friend towards life.  As we drew closer I felt Ryo, Shin, and Shu reaching out to us, guiding us like a beacon in the night.  _**Do you feel that, Seiji?** I asked him.  _**They're waiting for us --- they're waiting for _you._**_  I didn't look back at him --- I remembered what had happened in the myth --- but I thought I could feel him smile.  We continued on, the others gently reeling us in ----_

       Suddenly I was seized by a powerful force, as if I had been attached to a rubber band that was now snapping back.  It yanked me relentlessly forward, and I felt Seiji's hand torn from mine.  _No!_ I begged.  _Please don't take him from me again!_  But I could not resist…and I would not look back.  I plunged helplessly through space, then deep blue light enveloped me for a moment before everything went black.

      My body jerked as my eyes flew open and I gasped for air.  I was still in my chair but had slumped across Seiji's bed, my head resting against his shoulder, my fingers still curled around his.  Someone was shaking me and I heard voices, but they seemed far away.  My forehead felt hot.  _What in the world had I done?_

      "Touma…Touma, are you okay?" Ryo called frantically.  I managed to focus my eyes enough to see him leaning over me, his blue eyes wide with worry.  I nodded weakly; my voice didn't seem to be working.  

       Ryo helped me to sit up, and it was then I noticed that his forehead kanji was glowing.  So were Shin's and Shu's, and I didn't have to see it to know that mine was as well.  _Could it be…?_  Slowly, hardly daring to breathe, I looked at Seiji.

      His eyes were still closed and he had not moved, but I saw the shimmer of green beneath the golden bangs.  I gently brushed his hair aside, and there it was…_Rei_…_courtesy_.  It glowed softly at first, then gained intensity until it shone as brightly as a solar flare.  Our five kanjis blazed as one, lighting every corner of the little hospital room, and I had to close my eyes briefly against the brilliance.  Then it faded gently away, and the hospital lighting seemed rather dim in comparison.

      None of us could seem to speak, and in the silence I found myself listening to the beeping of Seiji's heart monitor.  Was it my imagination, or were those beeps coming a little faster now, a little closer to what they should be?  Then I heard a sigh…and it hadn't come from any of us.

      Under our astonished, hopeful stares, Seiji stirred, nestling his blonde head more comfortably against his pillow.  His eyelids fluttered, then opened slowly, revealing those familiar violet irises.  He gazed sleepily at each one of us: Shin, his sweetly smiling face wet with tears; Shu, who looked as if he didn't know whether to pummel Seiji or hug him; Ryo, whose eyes held a hopeful light that none of us had seen in days; and finally me.  He held my gaze the longest, as if he were searching for an answer.  I had the feeling he wanted to say something, but the oxygen mask prevented it, so he did the next best thing.

      He smiled.

      Two days later, I knocked on the door of Seiji's new room.  Since his "miraculous recovery", the doctors had moved him out of Intensive Care and into a regular hospital room, and I have to admit that I was glad to see the last of the Intensive Care Unit.  

      Seiji was sitting up in bed reading, but his eyes lit up when he saw me.  "So how are you feeling?" I asked.

      "A lot better," he replied.  "The doctors are discharging me tomorrow --- they can't find anything wrong with me, so they have to let me go home.  Of course, it's going to be interesting trying to explain _this_ to my parents."

      I frowned slightly.  "Are they sure?  I mean, they --- _we_ --- thought you were going to die, and all of a sudden you have a clean bill of health.  Have they checked everything?"

      Seiji chuckled.  "Touma, I've been checked and rechecked and checked on top of that.  I don't think there's a test known to modern medicine that they haven't performed on me; EKG's, EEG's, ABG's, CAT's, CPA's, you name it.  And they all say the same thing, namely that I'm ridiculously healthy and shouldn't even be here.  So they're kicking me out to make room for someone who's _really_ sick," he told me, his eyes sparkling.

      "But how do they explain it?" I wanted to know.

      Seiji shrugged.  "They can't, really.  So they just shake their heads a lot and chalk it up to some sort of faith-healing thing.  If I hear the word 'miracle' one more time I think I'm going to scream." 

      "Just as long as you don't mess up your hair," I retorted, but the thought brought a smile to my face.  I could just see it: proper, elegant Seiji standing in the middle of the hospital ward, yelling like a banshee…with every hair still in perfect order.  Seiji must have had the same vision, because he started to grin slyly, and then we were both laughing until our sides hurt.    

       Finally our mirth died away, and as I wiped the tears of laughter from my eyes I could see Seiji watching me.  There was a hesitant look in his violet eyes, as if he wanted to say something but couldn't quite find the right words.  Finally he said, "You took a huge risk, Touma.  Why?"

      "I had to," I told him.  "I couldn't just stand by and watch you die, Seiji.  You were one of the first people to really see something worthwhile in me.  You gave me your friendship and your trust and you helped me through some pretty dark times.  I figured it was time I returned the favor."  He didn't say anything.  "Seiji --- was it really so bad?" I asked hesitantly.

      He was silent for a long moment, then he sighed.  "It was like being in hell," he finally said quietly.  "I felt my power being ripped from me, I felt not just my own pain but the pain of all the people Shikaisen used it on --- you, the people in New York, all those innocents in Los Angeles --- I heard their screams for mercy and I couldn't do anything to stop it.  Can you imagine what that's like, Touma…to feel all that agony and to be helpless to ease it?  Finally I just couldn't take anymore.  If you and the others hadn't saved me when you did, I might have given in to Shikaisen just to stop the torture.  That was the worst part --- knowing that I was too weak to keep fighting him."

      "Weak?" I repeated incredulously.  "Seiji, just the fact that he had to drug and torture you almost to death shows how strong you are.  It's not like you just handed Korin over to him and went your merry way.  You fought bravely, Seiji, and none of us could have asked any more of you.  None of this was your fault."

      Seiji smiled gently at me.  "Logically, I know that, but…Touma, when your parents divorced, wasn't there some little part of you that felt that it was somehow your fault?  Something that said, maybe there was something you could have done differently and it wouldn't have happened?"

      I knew exactly what he meant.  I had been ten years old when my parents' marriage imploded.  Both of them had taken great pains to explain to me that they weren't divorcing because of me, that their decision to separate had nothing to do with me and that they both loved me very much --- they just didn't love _each other_ anymore.  My head accepted what they told me, and I adjusted as best I could…but deep inside my heart there was a tiny voice that whispered to me, telling me that maybe it really _was_ my fault.  If I had been more of a normal child, if I had been a better son, if I hadn't been so wrapped up in my books or had been more obedient or had done _something_…. I looked at Seiji.  "Yeah," I agreed.  "There was."

      He nodded.  "That's what it was like for me," he said.  "I knew there was really nothing I could have done to prevent what happened --- my parents checked out my invitation to go to New York.  Everything seemed legitimate; Shikaisen covered his tracks well.  And once I got there, they nabbed me and knocked me out almost immediately.  I didn't even have time to call my subarmor; I guess Shikaisen's magic did that after I was unconscious.  They kept me drugged the whole time and I didn't wake up until I heard Nasutei and Jun yelling.  So I know that there wasn't really anything I could have done that would have prevented this.  But you have to understand, Touma --- I was raised like the old samurai warriors, trained to never show weakness, never let my guard down, and above all never admit defeat."  I certainly knew that --- that was why Seiji was the way he was, so proper and calm, almost cold if you didn't really know him.  Seiji continued, "I did all three.  I felt that Shikaisen was able to steal my armor because I had let my guard down, and that I was too weak to fight my way free of his mind control.  I had been defeated, Touma.  The armor of Korin had been stolen and used for evil and I hadn't stopped it.  It was my failure, my weakness…my shame."

      "So you felt you had to die to make up for it."

      "Not just that.  I _wanted_ to die, I was ready to die.  I couldn't bear any more of the pain.  I felt so terribly alone, and I couldn't live with the guilt and the knowledge of what I had done.  I was so tired of fighting, of hurting, of watching other people get hurt.  I didn't think about the people I would leave behind --- I just wanted it all to be over," he said softly. 

      "And I dragged you back to all this pain and sorrow," I said.  "But I'm not sorry, Seiji."

      "Neither am I."  Seiji grew thoughtful.  "I know I still have a long road ahead of me, Touma.  I have a lot of healing left to do, regardless of what the doctors tell me.  I have to face what's happened to me and somehow come to terms with it.  I have to learn to trust Korin again, as well as myself.  And somehow I know that we haven't seen the last of the armors, that there are other battles waiting to be faced.  But at least now I know that I won't have to face them alone.  I have the best backup anyone could ever want --- I have friends who are willing to face death for me, and knowing that gives me the strength to live.  You gave me a second chance, and I won't waste that gift."  He smiled at me then, like the sun breaking throught the clouds.  "You and the others --- you brought me out of hell, Touma.  Thank you."

      I reached over and took his hand in both of mine, and neither one of us needed words.  I had my friend back, my comrade-in-arms, my brother, and that was all that mattered.  Like Orpheus in the Underworld, I had faced death itself to save someone dear to me.  I had refused to surrender Seiji to the eternal darkness…and I had won.

      I had gotten my miracle.   


End file.
